Monday, 19 June 2017


Hi, I'm dedicating this post to my beloved one
I know he won't read this post because he doesn't even know this blog exist

Our meeting is a fate I guess
I've fallen in love with you in 2007
A year after we meet in July 2006
Mula-mula tu I didn't even notice your existence
But it was in form 2
You keep kacau me
And I registered you in my head as 'budak nakal yang cute tu'

You are my guy-best-friend
Everyday you never fail go to my tempat before cikgu masuk
Then waktu rehat pun sama
Until one point, I keep waiting for you to come to my tempat which is paling hujung belah kiri and yours is kat paling hujung belah kanan and by fate we site across to each other

So many times we caught ourselves staring at each other and then pura-pura buat benda lain
Literally speaking. you are the first crush I have who likes me back (but unfortunately we were never aware of each other's feeling back then)
And you are the first boy ever to give me a chocolate and I think you were the sweetest back then

And I also remember the ice-cream incident
Our hostel held a family day
at the beach
You bought me an ice-cream and asked our little 'messenger' a.k.a our junior yang jadi orang tengah to deliver it to me
I was too shy to accept it but i can't deny the butterflies in my stomach at that time
I remember how red my face had become
I refused the ice-cream and give it to our messenger
She delivered you the message
And come again at me with another new ice-cream
I think you are the sweetest back then 

And I remember that you defended me when some girls from other class come to cari gaduh with me because they think I am sombong and jeling dorang (yeah memang muka I sombong pun but I'm nice tho)
We were friends at that time
Just friends
And I remembered you defended me when we have some issue with the seniors
and I am a scapegoat back then

You may have no idea how much my heart flutters everytime you come to see me
Everytime you sit next to me
Just to ask how was my day
Just talking about random stuffs
That one time you search for my biodata from the teacher and then found my phone number
And you text me during school holiday (because we are not allowed to bring handphone to hostel)

I was 14 at that time and I experienced falling in love
It was so new to me that I'm not sure on how to react
All I know is you spell happiness to me
This is no longer a secret to the people close to me
They all know that I like you

And you once told one of my friend that you like me
But to know that from her mouth isn't as real
As I want you to say it for yourself
And I was never good with hints
And even when you give me the most obvious hints
I am still oblivious and confuse
I don't want to be perasan

Because at that time maybe your feeling is different and I don't want to end up disappointed
And that is my mistake

To be continued...

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