Sunday, 20 November 2016

It's not you. It's me

People says they don't understand me
Me neither

They say I am weird for rejecting such a guy like you
But I guess they just can't understand me

I mean not every girl would prefer a tall (I am just 3/5 of your height), handsome, charming and everyone knows you were born in a wealthy family
Like spending every holiday kat benua Europe
Of course you  anak orang kaya kan
Plus, I stalked your IG out of curiosity
And yeah, I decided that you are at a level unreachable by me

To be honest, I am also surprised with myself 
I mean, which girl would refuse someone like you?
I admit that you have almost what a girl want in you
Also physically tall dark and handsome ..Hidung mancung meh ahahahah and sangat caring
And I realise I just can't

I just feel like avoiding you everytime we bump into each other at uni
And I rejected everytime you asked me for lunch
And when you offer to send me to college by your car
And everytime you show me affection
And I always pretending to not having my phone with me when you called
I am not affected
I wonder why
Maybe it was never meant for us both

Some people says
I refuses you because I am that kind of woman who hates it when people think I depend to much on guys
Tambah lagi you are a guys who can get everything you want
Prince Charming, 
It is not that
Yeah I am that kind of person
But that's not it
I just know that's not the reason
But I don't know the real reason

Maybe juga sebab I think 'being with anak orang kaya is too much for me, tak sama darjat, how will your family think of me?'
Even though I never knew them that well, I think I was influenced by drama melayu ahahhaha
And I saw your only sibs, your sister
She's too pretty and I guess I only look like cekodok next to her and your mom look so young and beautiful
So I guess I am discouraged by that

You are so kind
You consoled me when I cried during my VIVA because I was so stressed out
You offer me company when you see that I am down
You make me laugh when I don;t feel like it
But it still feels empty

I don;t know what you see in me
All I know is you deserved better

Saturday, 5 November 2016

So today ada Modul Finishing School kat fakulti khas untuk pelajar semester akhir
Actually I was contemplating whether I should join the module as a participant or as pembantu fasilitator because yeah, as a sekretariat, we got the privileges to be  pembantu fasilatator 
Huhu, we got paid if we become one and that's tempt me the most
To be honest yeah.

Tapi at the same time rasa macam rugi tak nak join modul tu sebab mesti ada banyak input, sebab peoples from the industries are coming to coach us ONE by ONE
read it again.
it is such a gold opportunity

So then I decided, why don't I become both?
Because I am Izzati, That's why I need to do both.

So pagi tu jadi pembantu fasilitator , sesi pagi waktu ceramah tu, uruskan makanan student, pendaftaran, penceramah and usher them all semua along with my crews. 
Ada 3 orang student final year in our crew and we are all multitasking.

Participant and facilitator.

Petang tu LDK.
Honestly, I really love such things.
Doing presentations.
I love it, I just feel the need to talk and give a speech to the crowd.

So I teamed up with Ayen, one of the sekretariat. 
But I told the coach a.k.a fasilitator yang I need to go back and forth since I am also the cameraman for today. Woman i mean.
So yeah, she's cool.

But once I am in the LDK you know
I just can't exit anymore like I told you I always had loved to do such thingyyyy..

Then we need to present something.
And as usual.
Presentation is definitely my thing.
As long as I understand what I need to present about.
It took 180 degree of turns of events when I presented something I don't know or have zero knowledge about.
Did it and verified.
Glad yang time present ni aku tahu apa nak cakap and faham.
Confident is always the key,
Master key

Ingat lagi waktu diploma.
I already did my FInishing School Module for diploma sebenarnya.
Input dia lebih kurang tapi berbeza.
So masa diploma I was the one and only who was chosen to act out a as a interviewee in a mock interview.
Never though that the exact thing happen again in degree. LOL
so much for being hyperactive huh?

I just carry on with it. 
Haha mungkin mock tak sama dengan real punya but i guess I already get a little taste of it,

So after habis modul tu selesai nak balik tu, the fasilitator called me personally and tell me 
"Nanti awak hantar ye resume kat saya. Hantar tau."
Oh yeah, she was from Prudential.

Never though me being talkative actually make her spot me.
Mungkin ini the door of chance yang Tuhan nak tunjukkan.
Tapi aku ni praktikal pun tak habis lagi sebenarnya.
Tak sure macam mana, tapi sekurang-kurangnya ada nampak satu pilihan kat situ kan.

Masa balik tu kena lah usher fasilitator untuk makan.
Lepas tu dia tanya aku,
"You AJK ke kat sini."
Tetiba rasa nak jual diri sikit, spontan jawab 
"A'ah, sebenarnya saya Presiden Fakulti."
Dia pun.. 
"Oh patutlah, nampak nampak"
pastu siap introduce Ayen lagi as Exco, haha..

Kalau ikutkan selama ni kemain tak nak mengaku diri ni ada jawatan sebegitu
Tapi bila fikir tu sebenarnya satu point plus plus untuk aku.
Bukan semua orang senang-senang dapat jadi Presiden fakulti.
Baik aku gunakan tu untuk qualification aku kan?

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