Monday, 12 September 2016

So past few days I was scrolling the twitter timeline
and as usual there are a lot of viral things on Twitter
I like that though. It is an entertainment for me.
Cerita dia camni, so adalah orang retweet kat twitter pasal sorang budak perempuan ni
Dia punya selfie kat Instagram punya caption be like "How you can be so pretty (referring to herself, ofcourse)", "even the world cannot deny how pretty you are." and such... lebih kurang camni lah.
So many peoples was bashing her because of that.

Just from my humble opinion, my very own point of view.
I found that there's nothing wrong with what she wrote.
In fact, I was amaze and at the same time was impressed with her confidence
Honestly, aku tak ada confident untuk buat macam tu.
Serius.
That's why aku sangat kagum.
How a person can love herself like that when I cannot.
I always look down upon myself and hate they way I am.
I hate many things about me.
And actually I don't want that, the thing is it just come naturally just like that.
I really hope I have the confidence like her.
Narcissistic?
Tak salah. Apa salahnya bila kita suka diri sendiri
Because no one else will.
Love yourself. Because no one will love you like you do.

I know everyone got different opinions about this.
But seriously. I am on her side.
Just for the sole reason that she was amazing the way she is.
Because I am not that kind of person.
Most of the time, I just hate myself
and then... I HATE me for being this way
I really want to be a person who is full of confidence

The lack of confidence within myself.
I know it is my own complexity that was hard for me to get over it.
Even when I told my friends "Aku ada masalah confidence. Aku tak confidence dengan diri sendiri."
They thought that I was joking.
Why?
Not bragging but I always show my confidence whenever I speak.
And dalam kelas pun bila ada presentation, they admit that they love me when I present my work because it was full of confidence.
My my lack of confidence I was talking about is
My appearance, diri aku.
I know this is not the necessary thing, I won't affect anything but I think that I am not pretty and that really affecting my confidence.
I change clothes like numerous times before going to class just because I think I look ugly in it.
Honestly, I really think I am that ugly.
I sigh looking at the mirror.
Bukan tak bersukur
Tapi, benda tu datang sendiri.
I try to love myself
Betul.

But have the person who judge me easily just because I think that way heard someone call them ugly?
I faced that
I heard of that
Someone called me ugly before and since that I can't stop thinking about it at all.
I never thought of myself as being pretty... but being called ugly. 
You never know how it feels.
Somehow it is affecting my confidence when I shouldn't

I envy those people
My friends who are always confidence of themselves
They look pretty that way
The best thing your can wear is confidence... It makes you look beautiful
I know this and I try to grasp this thing into my mind but I just can't

I really wish I have that confidence one day
I really want to love myself
And right now I am trying and learning
I just wish I can feel like that one day,



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