Sunday, 20 November 2016

It's not you. It's me

People says they don't understand me
Me neither

They say I am weird for rejecting such a guy like you
But I guess they just can't understand me

I mean not every girl would prefer a tall (I am just 3/5 of your height), handsome, charming and everyone knows you were born in a wealthy family
Like spending every holiday kat benua Europe
Of course you  anak orang kaya kan
Plus, I stalked your IG out of curiosity
And yeah, I decided that you are at a level unreachable by me

To be honest, I am also surprised with myself 
I mean, which girl would refuse someone like you?
I admit that you have almost what a girl want in you
Also physically tall dark and handsome ..Hidung mancung meh ahahahah and sangat caring
And I realise I just can't

I just feel like avoiding you everytime we bump into each other at uni
And I rejected everytime you asked me for lunch
And when you offer to send me to college by your car
And everytime you show me affection
And I always pretending to not having my phone with me when you called
I am not affected
I wonder why
Maybe it was never meant for us both

Some people says
I refuses you because I am that kind of woman who hates it when people think I depend to much on guys
Tambah lagi you are a guys who can get everything you want
Prince Charming, 
It is not that
Yeah I am that kind of person
But that's not it
I just know that's not the reason
But I don't know the real reason

Maybe juga sebab I think 'being with anak orang kaya is too much for me, tak sama darjat, how will your family think of me?'
Even though I never knew them that well, I think I was influenced by drama melayu ahahhaha
And I saw your only sibs, your sister
She's too pretty and I guess I only look like cekodok next to her and your mom look so young and beautiful
So I guess I am discouraged by that

You are so kind
You consoled me when I cried during my VIVA because I was so stressed out
You offer me company when you see that I am down
You make me laugh when I don;t feel like it
But it still feels empty

I don;t know what you see in me
All I know is you deserved better

Saturday, 5 November 2016

So today ada Modul Finishing School kat fakulti khas untuk pelajar semester akhir
Actually I was contemplating whether I should join the module as a participant or as pembantu fasilitator because yeah, as a sekretariat, we got the privileges to be  pembantu fasilatator 
Huhu, we got paid if we become one and that's tempt me the most
To be honest yeah.

Tapi at the same time rasa macam rugi tak nak join modul tu sebab mesti ada banyak input, sebab peoples from the industries are coming to coach us ONE by ONE
yeah.
read it again.
it is such a gold opportunity

So then I decided, why don't I become both?
Why?
Because I am Izzati, That's why I need to do both.

So pagi tu jadi pembantu fasilitator , sesi pagi waktu ceramah tu, uruskan makanan student, pendaftaran, penceramah and usher them all semua along with my crews. 
Ada 3 orang student final year in our crew and we are all multitasking.

Participant and facilitator.

Petang tu LDK.
Honestly, I really love such things.
Doing presentations.
I love it, I just feel the need to talk and give a speech to the crowd.
LOL

So I teamed up with Ayen, one of the sekretariat. 
But I told the coach a.k.a fasilitator yang I need to go back and forth since I am also the cameraman for today. Woman i mean.
So yeah, she's cool.
GREAT!

But once I am in the LDK you know
I just can't exit anymore like I told you I always had loved to do such thingyyyy..

Then we need to present something.
And as usual.
Presentation is definitely my thing.
As long as I understand what I need to present about.
It took 180 degree of turns of events when I presented something I don't know or have zero knowledge about.
Did it and verified.
Glad yang time present ni aku tahu apa nak cakap and faham.
Confident is always the key,
Master key

Ingat lagi waktu diploma.
I already did my FInishing School Module for diploma sebenarnya.
Input dia lebih kurang tapi berbeza.
So masa diploma I was the one and only who was chosen to act out a as a interviewee in a mock interview.
Never though that the exact thing happen again in degree. LOL
so much for being hyperactive huh?

I just carry on with it. 
Haha mungkin mock tak sama dengan real punya but i guess I already get a little taste of it,

So after habis modul tu selesai nak balik tu, the fasilitator called me personally and tell me 
"Nanti awak hantar ye resume kat saya. Hantar tau."
Oh yeah, she was from Prudential.

Woah!
Never though me being talkative actually make her spot me.
Mungkin ini the door of chance yang Tuhan nak tunjukkan.
Alhamdulillah.
Tapi aku ni praktikal pun tak habis lagi sebenarnya.
Tak sure macam mana, tapi sekurang-kurangnya ada nampak satu pilihan kat situ kan.

Masa balik tu kena lah usher fasilitator untuk makan.
Lepas tu dia tanya aku,
"You AJK ke kat sini."
Tetiba rasa nak jual diri sikit, spontan jawab 
"A'ah, sebenarnya saya Presiden Fakulti."
Dia pun.. 
"Oh patutlah, nampak nampak"
pastu siap introduce Ayen lagi as Exco, haha..

Kalau ikutkan selama ni kemain tak nak mengaku diri ni ada jawatan sebegitu
Tapi bila fikir tu sebenarnya satu point plus plus untuk aku.
Bukan semua orang senang-senang dapat jadi Presiden fakulti.
Baik aku gunakan tu untuk qualification aku kan?


Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Study Sorok-Sorok

Just wanna state some unpopular opinion here.
Feels like the need to.
LOL

Have you ever heard somebody said or at least tweeting
"Tak study tapi dapat score dalam exam."
Then... The person who said that easily concludes --
"Nak study pun sorok-sorok ke."
"Study pun tak nak bagitahu."

Even more when they ask their friend
"Eh, kau dah study ke belum?"
And then, their friend answer --
"No."
They'll be like sentap tak tentu hala and then update tweet like I mentioned earlier.
"Nak study pun sorok-sorok ke."
"Study pun tak nak bagitahu."
Honestly for me,
These kind of peoples really need to grow up
Or at least, janganlah be narrow-minded sangat please~~

Just because dia tak study tak semestinya dia tak boleh score.
You really need to open your eyes and hidup sikit.
Ni, asyik-asyik terperuk dalam rumah, tu lah jadi narrow-minded macam tu.
LOL so hard at this.

Ada orang was gifted.
Baca sekali, dah masuk
Dengar sikit, dah boleh hadam.
Tak study, tapi sebab fokus dalam kelas, tu boleh score exam.
Kau penat study, dia layan citer korea tapi dia score lagi tinggi dari kau
Sebab jealous dan hasad dengki dan busuk hati, terus kau assume dia study sorok-sorok daripada pandangan kau.
Eh, dah jadi budak uni pun nak otak sempit lagi?

Once kau buat camtu, orang tak judge kawan kau yang kau tuduh 'study sorok-sorok' tu
Orang tuduh kau, KUAT DENGKI
well, takdelah tuduh, since that was a fact

Yelah, kalau kau tak dengki, kisah pulak kan dia dapat score tinggi ke ape ke
Kisah pulak kau dia nak study sorok-sorok time kau tengah tebongkang kat katil kan?
Mesti kau tak kisah kan?
Bukan effect markah kau pun dia study sorok-sorok tu.
Takdanya markah kau sikit sebab dia study sorok-sorok.
Eh tak bijak nya lah.
Ni takde sebab lain lah ni, DENGKI sangat dengan kelebihan orang. Ish Ish Ish.
Sibuk sangat pasal perihal orang.

Kat uni mana ada siapa dapat nombor 1 dalam kelas,
Mana ada ranking.
Ada pun ranking overall.
Compete dengan the whole uni.
Kau study untuk diri kau kan, masa depan kau kan?
It's every man for themselves.
Kejadah sangat lah kau nak sangat amik kisah pasal performance orang lain tu?
Lain lah kalau nak buat bench-mark
Tapi ingat lah, ability setiap orang lain-lain
Ada orang ditakdirkan tak perlu usaha lebih untuk berjaya
Tapi ada orang perlu...
Mana yang kekurangan tu adalah kelebihan kat tempat lain
Dah-dah lah tu dengki dengan orang

Dah kau kebolehan lain,
Use your strength wisely
Itu jauh lagi bagus dari spend time cari masalah orang
Dah tu, tak improve-improve jugak

And last but not least,
Jangan assume dan please bukak minda sikit
Boleh? 



Sunday, 23 October 2016

Apa hal sebenarnya dengan nasib aku ni.
Luka kat kaki yang accident haritu tak sempat pun kering lagi.
Dah ada yang lain.
Tadi lepas majlis penutupan Sukan Antara Fakulti (SAF) kitorang balik Bilik Gerakan Sekretariat dulu.
Time tu dah pukul 12 lebih.

Since aku kena pegang sepanduk, tadi aku pakai wedges masa event, tapi aku bawak sneakers as back up. Gila lah nak pakai wedges berejam.
Before tu aku bagi sneakers tu kat runner.
Ye laa camne nak simpan sendiri kan.

Bila aku dah tukar tu, masa turun kereta tak rasa pape lagi tau.
Sikit lgi nak sampai Bilik Gerakan rasa menusuk kat tapak kaki.
Aku nak try keluarkan kaki dari kasut tak boleh. Sakit sia
Macam melekat situ.

Dah la kasut tu memang fit-fit je dengan kaki aku, tak longgar langsung.
Aku assume ada kerongsang kot yang jatuh.

Aku boleh terima kalau kerongsang, sebab jarum dia pendek kalau masuk dalam kaki pun.
Time tu ada Fiqah, Nisa and Aini.

Aku dah terduduk dah ni sebab sakit gila kot.
Pastu sebab takleh keluarkan kaki tu aku suruh je dorang ni gunting tali kasut sebab nak keluarkan kaki.

Still tak boleh jugak, macam melekat doh.
Aku suruh dorang gunting kasut tu pulak.
Dah la kasut tu aku sayang gila, tak sampai sebulan pun lagi pakai. Huhuuu
Dah gunting tepi kasut tu sikit, barulah aku boleh longgarkan, check-check rupanya apa kau tahu?

Safety Pin!!

Pergh
Dia jadi melekat kat kaki aku tu sebab dia melekat kat tapak kasut sekali and dalam horizontal position, sebab tu kaki aku takleh tarik  tu. Habis pulak tu jarum dia tusuk tapak kaki aku.
Sape doh simpan safety pin merata, menyusahkan orang je.

Tapak kaki tak berdarah sebab tapak kaki keras sikit kan kulit dia
Tapi bisa tu, boleh buat aku nak jerit.
Elok sangat lah tu kalau aku jerit-jerit tengah malam buta kat fakulti tu kan..
Masa tengah taip ni pun, sakit bisa tu. Pergh, Tuhan je tahu.
Geram pulak aku,

My favourite firus Nike Sneakers. R.I.P

Saturday, 8 October 2016

Got an Accident this morning. LOLs
AlKisahnya semalam dapat call dari Unit Fasiliti dan Majlis UiTM Shah Alam
Kena pergi Unit Majlis kat DATC tu untuk sign borang untuk tempahan khemah dan the other stuffs yang lain yang aku tempah untuk program Amanat Dekan dengan Pemantapan Destini Siswa tu.
Ingatkan nak pergi petang semalam terus before pukul 3.. 

Alamak, tak tahu lah pulak tempat tu kat mana sebab selama ni suruh Biro Tugas-Tugas Khas yang setelkan. Tapi sebab pinjam atas nama aku, aku kena pergi sign sendiri.
Pastu janji dengan Zahir nak pergi pagi ni alang-alang dia pun nak kena sign jugak pengesahan tu untuk event Majlis Anugerah Dekan.

So pagi ni gerak lah, aku pinjam motor Nisa follow Zahir dari belakang.
Pagi tu pulak hujan, jalan licin lagi lalu pulak kat jalan yang simpang siur tu.. haha sebelah dengan Pusat Islam.

Masa tengah jalan tu, aku dah terdetik dalam hati, "Eh, licin jalan ni, takleh bawak laju ni." 
Tak lama lepas tu, berapa second je,  sedar-sedar dah jatuh atas jalan. Aku ingat tangan aku auto tahan jalan. Nasib baik aku tak tahan body dari jatuh.
Zahir yang kat depan turun motor dia terus tolong aku.
Weh malu doh. Tak tipu.

Tapi sakit jugak. Belah kiri jatuh semua calar balar, seluar favourite aku pulak koyak. SIb baik pakai seluar, pakai sneakers. Maunya haritu aku pakai baju kurung dengan heels, lagi naya.
Masa jatuh tu rasa kepala bengang kejap sebab rasa macam terhantuk. Bengong kejap aku tapi sempat lagi "Camne doh Zahir, sakit gila ni." Sambil gelak terpaksa. Takkan nak nangis, even pun sakit. Malu lah aku...Haha.

Tengok tangan sebelah kiri dan koyak dah kulit, luka-luka. Sebab jatuh belah kiri kan.
Zahir suruh aku tanggal helmet pastu duduk. Tapi aku macam takleh pikir waras dah time tu
Aku tak tahu nak explain camne, sakit ada tapi malu pun ada. Pulak tu tetiba bas rapid yang penuh student kat dalam tu lalu. Aku perasan sorang budak pakai cermin mata dalam bas ni, muka terkejut takleh cover. Kah9. Time tu aku pakai helmet lagi, so tutup dengan viser.
Pastu adalah someone yang kebetulan ada kat situ, dia tolong bawakkan aku ke Pusat Kesihatan.
Nasib baik ada orang. Alhamdullillah.

Dalam kereta time on the way tu aku rasa cam nak pitam and nak muntah. Nampak tak nampak je view pastu kepala berat kemain. Orang tu mungkin dia nak aku sedar jadi dia asyik bercakap dengan aku tak nak bagi aku lelap. Sebab tadi aku tanya orang pun, lepas accident memang jangan bagi lelap atau pengsan. Tapi aku punya otak dah takleh brain apa dah time tu. Dalam hati "annoying nye mamat ni. Aku dah penat sangat rasa nak tidur je time tu." Haha. Serius, tu je. Aku rasa nak tutup terus je mata.

Kena masuk ER, sebab nak scan kot ada efek mana-mana kat kepala aku.
Dalam ER baru aku tahu, siku, tapak tangan, lutut semua luka, Tapi kat tapak tangan lah paling teruk kot sebab sampai terkoyak kulit semua. Dah la aku sejenis yang takut darah tapi kena control macho sebab takkan nak nangis depan orang. Nurse tu check kot-kot ada luka dalam, pastu bersihkan luka pastu suruh aku rest sebab time tu aku berat lagi kepala. Kena injek sekali (ni lah paling aku tak gemar, manusia takut jarum lah katakan). Pastu kena lah pergi kat satu bilik ni baring, rehat. Zahir ada tunggu kat luar lepas aku keluar ER tu, abang yang hantar aku tadi dah takde, dah balik. Tak sempat pun tanya nama ucap terima kasih ke. Hmm, terima kasih random stranger sebab tolong saya.

Aku ingat cam lama, suruh la Zahir balik dulu. Tapi, dalam setengah jam je aku rehat situ, rasa tak sedap sebab kerja tak settle lagi, aku tak pergi sign lagi borang tu kat unit majlis. Call Zahir suruh amik aku, nak pergi naik bas kang, malu seluar koyak plus memang tak bawak duit satu sen pun sebab ingat tadi nak keluar kejap je. Zahir tak angkat fon, aku call ke Bilik Gerakan, Bob yang jawab. Haha, pastu dia tak bagitahu aku nak datang, terus datang dengan Fiqah. At the same time jugak Zahir pun OTW jugak. LOLs. Lepas Bob dengan Fiqah sampai, Zahir pun sampai. Aku rasa bersalah pun ada sebab Fiqah dengan Bob datang. Tapi aku gerak dengan Zahir sebab nak dia hantar aku terus ke Unit Fasiliti nak sign dulu, nak settle haritu jugak. Dengan berdarah luka nya aku, dia bawak lah aku pergi sana. Aku lagi lega kerja dah settle. Aku siap kena bebel lagi dengan Zahir dalam kereta. Alah bukan salah aku jalan tu licin.  Pastu dah siap. pergi bilik gerakan terus. 

Haritu MC untuk kelas Ethic. Member aku pun bimbang weh lepas tahu aku accident tu. Terharu pulak rasa. Huks. Dorang siap datang Bilik Gerakan tengok aku. Aku tak pergi pun kelas, tapi tunggu dorang habis kelas sebab nak balik sekali. Serius cakap, masa aku duk kat Pusat Kesihatan tu sorang-sorang. Sayu jugak. Bila dah jumpa dorang-dorang ni hilang sakit sebab gelak je. Baru aku perasan muka aku pun calar sikit lepas dorang tegur. Cis, tak flawless dahla.. Wahahahah... Bebudak ni duk tanya apasal aku botox sebelah pipi je. LOLs. Petang tu dah makin membiru. Aku rasa bengkak tapi sebab tak tengok cermin, tak expect lah teruk camni.

Whatsapp Ida dengan Izzah. Ida aku hantar gambar dia reply bimbang sangat, menyesal bagitahu. Izzah pulak, aku hantar gambar luka kat pipi tu dia reply "Licinnya muka mu Kakti." lain aku nak tunjuk, lain yang dia nampak. Haha. Tapi both of them suruh aku jaga diri leklok and fast recovery. Aku dah assured aku OK. siap boleh gelak lagi. Tapi aku tak bagitahu pun ummi dengan abah. Mau nya dorang risau, dah la jauh. Nanti-nanti lah aku bagitahu, bila dah sembuh bebetul.

Member aku pulak sweet gilos. Siap tolong sapu ubat, bandage kan lagi. Thanks Nad, Timmy, Mah, Tasha. Farah dan Jannah. Waktu sapu ubat kat tempat luka tu, pedih gila weh. Nak menjerit. Kemain aku cover taknak nangis tapi keluar jugak air mata sebab pedih gila wa cakap lu... Hahah. Haa lupa nak citer, once Jannah dapat tahu aku accident tu, aku kena bebel jugak dengan dia. Hahaha. Haish, orang sakit pun kena bebel. Hahahahha. Aku nak join kelas Zumba Nadya petang tu pun Nad tak bagi hhahahahahah... Takpe, nanti aku dah sihat, aku joget puas-puas.


Terharu jugak ramai yang cakna. Even though kecik bagi orang lain tapi aku tetap terharu. Sungguh. Thanks korang yang wish for me to get well soon tu. Nak sebut sorang-sorang takut ada terlepas pandang pulak nanti. Hahaha.  Thank you....

Ni malam ni, dah start rasa lenguh-lenguh badan. Ingat macam nak skip kelas FYP esok (sebab kerja tak siap lagi. Haha.) tapi tengok lah dulu camne. Hohohoho


Monday, 12 September 2016

So past few days I was scrolling the twitter timeline
and as usual there are a lot of viral things on Twitter
I like that though. It is an entertainment for me.
Cerita dia camni, so adalah orang retweet kat twitter pasal sorang budak perempuan ni
Dia punya selfie kat Instagram punya caption be like "How you can be so pretty (referring to herself, ofcourse)", "even the world cannot deny how pretty you are." and such... lebih kurang camni lah.
So many peoples was bashing her because of that.

Just from my humble opinion, my very own point of view.
I found that there's nothing wrong with what she wrote.
In fact, I was amaze and at the same time was impressed with her confidence
Honestly, aku tak ada confident untuk buat macam tu.
Serius.
That's why aku sangat kagum.
How a person can love herself like that when I cannot.
I always look down upon myself and hate they way I am.
I hate many things about me.
And actually I don't want that, the thing is it just come naturally just like that.
I really hope I have the confidence like her.
Narcissistic?
Tak salah. Apa salahnya bila kita suka diri sendiri
Because no one else will.
Love yourself. Because no one will love you like you do.

I know everyone got different opinions about this.
But seriously. I am on her side.
Just for the sole reason that she was amazing the way she is.
Because I am not that kind of person.
Most of the time, I just hate myself
and then... I HATE me for being this way
I really want to be a person who is full of confidence

The lack of confidence within myself.
I know it is my own complexity that was hard for me to get over it.
Even when I told my friends "Aku ada masalah confidence. Aku tak confidence dengan diri sendiri."
They thought that I was joking.
Why?
Not bragging but I always show my confidence whenever I speak.
And dalam kelas pun bila ada presentation, they admit that they love me when I present my work because it was full of confidence.
My my lack of confidence I was talking about is
My appearance, diri aku.
I know this is not the necessary thing, I won't affect anything but I think that I am not pretty and that really affecting my confidence.
I change clothes like numerous times before going to class just because I think I look ugly in it.
Honestly, I really think I am that ugly.
I sigh looking at the mirror.
Bukan tak bersukur
Tapi, benda tu datang sendiri.
I try to love myself
Betul.

But have the person who judge me easily just because I think that way heard someone call them ugly?
I faced that
I heard of that
Someone called me ugly before and since that I can't stop thinking about it at all.
I never thought of myself as being pretty... but being called ugly. 
You never know how it feels.
Somehow it is affecting my confidence when I shouldn't

I envy those people
My friends who are always confidence of themselves
They look pretty that way
The best thing your can wear is confidence... It makes you look beautiful
I know this and I try to grasp this thing into my mind but I just can't

I really wish I have that confidence one day
I really want to love myself
And right now I am trying and learning
I just wish I can feel like that one day,



Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Me & Make-Up Oh

Me & Make-Up
  1.  I dont do or use make up on normal days, only on big occasions
  2.  By not doing make-up I mean no trimming my eyebrows and not even wearing eye-liner or foundation or compact powder or whatever girls do that it takes em 2 hours to get ready. Blergh.
  3.  I only use lipbalm when going out
  4.  My boyfriend thinks i am pretty (Maybe because he love me sincerely) the way I am
  5.  I think make-up is a form of art but nahh I am good not learning this branch of arts
  6.  I hate it when girls put a tons of make up and then snap a picture with a caption "Puberty hits me like a truck" and I'll be Like "Nah, that is just the fake version of you"
  7. I don't really use that many cosmetic product so when people ask me about my skin i think it is just because I don't let it tainted by make-up or cosmetic products (which is high in chemical elements) on daily basis.
  8. I find it weird for girls to trim their eyebrows and draw it again. WHY?
  9. I understand that everyone wants to be pretty but the standard is actually set by WHO?
  10. I find it not attractive at all to wear bold-coloured eyeshadow such as green or blue or striking yellow. Like HOW DO YOU EVEN THINK THAT LOOKS GOOD? except yeah you are runway model - I honestly think this is not suitable for your wedding at all, so girls pls
  11. But again-- What do I know about make-up right? So you don't have to take my words seriously.

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Revamp!

Hi. Just want to tell that I'm revamping this blog. I still keep my previous posts here just because it will be a pity to delete it. At least for me , =)

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

It is not on Gender Streotype

Yang biasa baca kat twitter
"Girls, elakkan jatuh cinta dengan boyfriend orang"
Boleh jugak jadi
"Boys elakkan jatuh cinta dengan girlfriend org"
Apa kau ingat lelaki ni takde kategori perampas ke. LEL

Yang biasa baca kat twitter
"Boys, bila jumpa girls yang lagi cantik janganlah tinggalkan girlfriend kau yang dulu"
Boleh jugak jadi
"Girls, bila jumpa laki lagi kaya janganlah tinggalkan boyfriend kau yang dulu"
Apa kau ingat perempuan ni tak boleh curang ke. LOL

Yang biasa baca kat twitter
"Lelaki kalau nak break bagi ayat -Awak terlalu sempurna untuk saya, saya tak baik bagi awak-"
Boleh jugak jadi
"Girls kalau nak break bagi ayat -Awak terlalu sempurna untuk saya, saya tak baik bagi awak-"
Apa kau ingat perempuan ni semua ada akal ke. LALA

Conclusion, jangan streotype sangat kat gender.
People do what they want to atas sebab masing-masing yang memanfaatkan diri sendiri
Sebab tu macam-macam alasan dicipta when everything doesn't goes in their way
Semua ni atas individu, bukan takde lelaki setia perempuan curang
Ada jugak lelaki materialistik dan ada jugak perempuan beuaty-listik (ok word ni aku reka)

This is a world where when you are not preying, then you become the prey
So, don't blame anything on gender streotype
People do what they wanna do because they wanna do it.
Takde kaitan pasal gender ok.

Tata~~~

Sunday, 7 August 2016

I cannot decide which one is even more pathetic
SO you decide

First, when someone you never know all your life and even when you try to recall her name in your memories you still cannot remember who the freaking girl she was and then she  actually left hate comments on your post as if you were talking about her but you actually are being emotional after watching a melodrama on TV with a cliche plot line

OR

The said girl actually comment on your last year post which mean she stalked you all the way there and the only thing I can think about is "Serius lah budak ni tak kerja or tak belajar ke sampai takde benda dah nak buat?"

LOL.

How to deal with keyboard warrior?
Or someone yang mudah perasan camni?
Pretend they didn't exist
They probably just want some attention

Saturday, 25 June 2016

Battle Royale

My eyes open before the day breaks
Stuff in chicken breasts, lettuce into my mouth
Dash out to Han River, run a marathon
Anemia value rises, feeling sharp pains
Can’t finish, time to be exempt, pushup several times
I can just eat at an unwelcomed place then throw up
I tighten my belt, Fuck I gained a bit
Mr. Representative wants it, a body like a cola bottle
There are no allies, they say colleagues will soon be enemies
Blood-like sweat became horrific traces
When I can’t bear the practice room, I go to the bathroom
I secretly sob, taking care of it as quickly as possible
First priority is appearance
Eventually a wholesome face goes under the knife
A systematic production of human weapons
music bull shit? they wanna be a Famous. aight?
Because I said let’s become a star, I’m on the verge of insanity
I become a prey on my own, stirring my spoon
Battle royal, a profession where I must survive
If you waver you’re disqualified, move it just begun
Murderous looks keeping each other in check
When I turned around after running for a long time
I had lost my innocence and became a villain
No one will forgive me
I will survive as I live
I must survive until the end
The sound of shouting fills the hall
The hand gesture that forces more stimulation
A layer is taken off, fully gesturing erotically
Even though it looks beautiful, the inside is mangled from rotting
I successfully endured with a sober mind
One person pours tears, saying it’s now too much
This reality tangled with lies and impossible insistence
I’m scared to face it
Brightly colored balloons, plank card slogans
Take those out then everything else is criticism or resentment
No one knows, the saint becomes the right path
A chance to talk without being cursed at is given
Parents who boast about their precious daughter
The dust that enters their mind, their eyes
Engulfed in the feeling of betrayal, they shake their heads
Did they achieve their dream or lose their dream
Murderous looks keeping each other in check
When I turned around after running for a long time
I had lost my innocence and became a villain
No one will forgive me
I will survive as I live
I must survive until the end

-Zico

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Me & Leadership (Part 2)


Sambung dari post yang ni


Form 1
Ingat tak aku tak leh jadi ketua platun waktu darjah 6
Tapi yasss
Waktu aku naik Form 1, aku terpilih jadi ketua platun dan komander untuk Pandu Puteri
tak sia-sia aku pilih pandu puteri even tho aku nak masuk kadet polis time tu
Lagi best jadi Ketua Platun waktu Form 1
Kiranya, regardless senior, still aku yang bagi command
And nasib baik jugaklah senior tu show respect kat aku as Ketua Platun
tapi kat luar still aku respect diorang sebab aku junior kan

Ada satu kali tu nak bertanding dah
Lepas tu aku tak sihat
Sakit tekak
Jadi suara tak keluar sangat
Kebetulan time tu orang JPA datang latih
First day dorang datang
So dia kata aku tak boleh buat
So aku macam tak percaya aku kena replace dengan orang lain
Sedih gila weh
So aku habiskan lah masa dalam baris je

Tiba hari pertandingan
Ketua platun baru tu takleh buat
Sebab dia nervous sampai nangis
On the spot jugak dorang suruh aku buat
Macam harey
Padahal 3 bulan tu aku training as ahli baris je kot
Kau rasa?
Dah la waktu daftar tu pun nama dia as Ketua Platun
Tapi camne pun aku still jalankan tanggungjawab tu
Aku melapor pakai nama dia 
Sedih jugak lah sebab tak dapat recognition
Lepas tu aku dapat Top 3 ketua platun terbaik
No 1 Bomba, No 2 Kadet Polis -- Semua lelaki
Imagine aku as budak paling muda, baru Form 1 pastu satu-satunya ketua platun perempuan dalam Top 3 , gila tak bangga
Tapi tu lah, sijil takde nama aku kan
Hahahaha
Agak sedih lah jugak kat situ hrmm



Monday, 9 May 2016

Ahahahahah

Korang ingat kes ni tak jadi?
Hahahahahah
Jadi wehhh
Even pun tak kena kat aku
Tapi ada lah kenal dua, tiga kes camni...Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, text
Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, text
Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, textImage may contain: 5 people, people smiling, text

Kredit: Si Rashid

Monday, 25 April 2016

Me & Leadership

Me and leadership
Hey what's with the title
I am just going to tell the story, of my journey

Dah 24 tahun aku tak perasan benda ni
Mungkin dulu aku pernah perasan
Tapi ada satu fasa dalam hidup aku tu aku lupa dah

The title itself, me and leadership as you read
Sejak kecik lagi aku sebenarnya bersangkut dengan title ni
Even aku sedar atau tak
Aku sebenarnya sangat mudah nak dapat title ketua atau leader ataupun seorang gadis, student, budak yang menonjol kat mana-mana pun aku pergi

Tadika
Aku masuk Tadika umur 5 tahun
Dan waktu tu aku dah boleh membaca dengan lancar masa umur 5 tahun
So, Cikgu tadika time tu latih aku sebagai seorang penyajak dan pemuisi
Masa akhir tahun tadika, 5 tahun time tu
Sampai harini aku ingat lagi first time aku berdiri atas pentas sorang-sorang
Ketar
Lupa dah semua gaya
Hahah kelakar
Sajak tu pulak sampai 2 page kertas kajang
Maunya tak gigil
Untuk seorang budak 5 tahun
Sebenarnya satu achievement
Ntah camne aku boleh hafal pun aku tak tahu benda tu semua
Sampai umur 6 tahun, aku masih lagi jadi satu-satunya penyajak kat tadika time tu
Bila ingat balik, bangga woiii

Darjah 1
Aku dikenali kat sekolah sebab english aku
Dan juga sebab aku tak pernah jatuh daripada Top 2 student kelas tu
Kadang-kadang no 1 kadang kadang no 2
Kelas first
Parents bangga gila
Time ni aku dah aim nak jadi pengawas waktu darjah 3
Sebab darjah 3 baru layak jadi pengawas

Darjah 2
Aku jadi pelapis untuk pertandingan bercerita bahasa Melayu
Sebab cikgu aim aku boleh baca dengan intonasi dan nada and pandai gaya-gaya sikit
Still aku pegag lagi title highest scorer in English untuk keseluruhan darjah 2 time 2
Dan still top 2 keseluruhan darjah 2

Darjah 3
Guess what
Aku jadi pengawas macam yang aku nak sangat tu
Salah satu sebab nak jadi pengawas ialah malas basuh kasut putih
Hahahahaha
Tapi aku tak dapat jadi wakil sekolah untuk pertandingan bercerita Bahasa Melayu tahap 1
Sebab teacher aku nak jadikan aku wakil sekolah untuk English story telling tahap 1
Diberi pilihan camtu mestilah aku pilih English kan
Dari kecik doh aku minat English ni
Jadi Puteri Gunung Ledang lagi
takkan taknak
Sebab kalau bercerita bahasa melayu tu jadi ayam je sebab kisah dia pasal ayam Hoho
Princess of Gunung Ledang ni first place peringkat zon and Third place district level
Happy gila kau time tu

Darjah 4
Aku pindah sekolah
Agak terkilan sebab sekolah baru jadi lain sikit perasaan dia 
Aku terpilih lagi untuk masuk storytelling
Tapi sekolah baru ni tak ada costume, jadi pakai baju sekolah je pergi bertanding
Kalah. Hmm dapat saguhati je
Sama juga, aku wakil untuk pertandingan bercerita kisah nabi
Pun saguhati je
Tapi kat sekolah ni pun aku jadi pengawas juga so Ok lah kan
Masuk pandu puteri untuk koko and sebab darjah 4 ni paling muda sekali dalam koko, jadilah aku AJK darjah 4.
Waktu ni dah aim nanti darjah 6 aku nak jugak jadi Pengerusi Kelab
Darjah 4 juga aku start join kem, perkhemahan dan perbarisan, kawad kaki, bola jaring, bola baling dsb.
Plus, Top 1 untuk keseluruhan darjah 4 sepanjang tahun tu
Gila tak happy
Semua subjek kecuali Sains tak pernah jatuh dari 90%
Sains je paling teruk pernah dapat 76%
Tapi waktu tu 76% dah A sebab baru belajar kan.

Darjah 5
Aku still teruskan semua benda yang aku buat time darjah 4
Kem, kawad, perbarisan, perkhemahan, jawatan semua tu
Pengawas aku up dari pengawas biasa ke AJK
dan Utk pandu puteri pun aku up ke jawatan tinggi sikit
Naib pengerusi
Untuk rumah merah aku jadi bendahari
Dan untuk scorer akademik pulak aku switch dengan Teah no 1 atau 2
Oh satu lagi waktu ni aku jadi pelapis ketua platun kot
Aku happy gila
Memang aku nak sangat jadi ketua platun
Lebih daripada aku nak jadi pengerusi kelab sebenarnya heee

Darjah 6
Aku up dalam Pandu Puteri jadi Pengerusi Kelab dan Ketua kumpulan Siantan
Lepas tu aku kena pergi Kem ke Johor peringkat kebangsaan seminggu
Guess what, waktu aku pergi kem tu la ada pemilihan ketua platun
Aku tak dapat weh
Sumpah aku sedih gila
Padahal tahun lepas tu aku dah second in command kot
Darjah 6 ni pun jadi second in command lagi
Sedih gila aku
Dah tak kisah dah jadi pengrusi kelab ke tak
Tapi aku nak sangat jadi Ketua Platun
Pengawas pulak aku jadi setiausaha je
Aku dah tahu awal memang aku takkan dapat jadi Ketua pelajar sebab tahun-tahun lepas pun Cikgu disiplin tu biasanya dia pilih student yang aktif sukan, aku just main bola jaring, bola baling dengan badminton je, tu pun bola jaring jadi WD je and bola baling jadi goalie. Pastu aku lagi aktif koko berbanding sukan so kawan aku yang atlet sekolah ni lah dapat, dia main balapan semua tu la
Aku still top 2 dalam sekolah time ni
And top 10 scorer untuk keseluruhan daerah waktu kitaorang ada kem akademik kat sekolah lain, budak sekolah aku 3 orang je dapat masuk kelas depan campur dengan budak-budak kelas sekolah cluster tu
Strength aku kat English lah dengan Sains tu paling aku boleh score
UPSR alhamdulillah dapat 5A
and dapat top 10 untuk penulisan peringkat negeri terengganu aku ingat lagi tajuk cita aku tu "Kerana Fitnah" and satu lagi tu pasal iodin kebenda tah. Ntah camne aku leh wat karangan pasal iodin, hahaha iodin tu sekolah menengah baru belajar. Rajin doh aku buat research Kah9

To be continued...



Thursday, 21 January 2016

We all have done toooo many stupid things in our life
And one of my regrets are acting like budak wechat before I even know wechar

Malu doh bila ingat balik
Dulu kalau texting
Eja ke jadi kew
Sayang jadi Cayunk

Like 
That was too stupid
Soo stupid

Bila baca balik status Facebook
Maigad
Rasa cam baru belajar mengeja
Back then, we all thought that that was cute
It was just plain stupid

What did I do OMG


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