Monday, 13 April 2015

I Lost The Feeling

13/04/2015 12:20AM

Study OS... Too bored , suddenly remember you..
i know i shouldn't... but this is not what i want
it just happened...

5 years since my last relationship.
i can't even counted the last one as a relationship at all
because i have no feeling at all during that time..
aku mintak maaf.. bro(?)
tak sepatutnya jadi macam tu kan...

we shouldn't have been in a relationship at all..
my fault...
because the sincerity i owned have lost 2 years before that.
to someone else.
someone i really love(?)
no?
bukan salah kau. tapi even aku pun tak nak paksa diri aku..

to be in a relationship?
yeah.. i would like to feel that again.
but i just can't
i wanna be approached
but i run away as soon as someone makes a move

what's wrong with me?
there's definitely something wrong with me...

aku dah hilang that special feeling
now i feel nothing at all...
literally,

aku cuba.. aku nak rasa nervous when i'm with someone..
but the feeling just doesn't come anymore.
disappear...
aku cuba
but i never good in forcing myself..

i say i like this kind.... that kind of guy
but even if i found one... i don't feel anything
trauma? i can't tell..

but i really wanna have the feeling again

the feeling of being nervous when i was standing next to someone i admire
the feeling of shyness(?) whenever he's wimme.
the sudden urge to act all girlish in front of that special someone...
the feel like i lost my tongue and losing all my wits because i freeze whenever he hi-ed me...

i just wanna feel all these again...
i just lost one big time
i can't love anymore...

sorry for the rant
good nite.


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