Friday, 29 September 2017

Wednesday, 27 September 2017

Hai awak,
Sebelum nak justify your lie and your pretentious side
Please work out on your English first
OMG

It is bad enough that your were trying to rub that lies into my face
Pretending that you were innocent
(When the world obviously know that you were not)
I thought you are a corporate-level worker,
Now how could you even flunk with that simple English

You don't need to add 's' in a noun when it is singular form
Using article a shouldn't be followed by nouns with -s
Urgh FFS

Honestly, if other people do this I don't care at all
The truth is I never care at all
We all have our learning phases
And me myself aren't even good at it

But because you always rub your nose in my business
That kinda irk the hell out of me.


Young Queen, Young Bo$$
That's what I am

Saturday, 23 September 2017

Heavy

I don't like my mind right now
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary
Wish that I could slow things down
I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything's about me
Yeah I drive myself crazy
'Cause I can't escape the gravity

I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
To so much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on

Why is everything so heavy?
You say that I'm paranoid
But I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me
It's not like I make the choice
To let my mind stay so fucking messy
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning round me just the same
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning round me just the same

I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
To so much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?

I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning round me just the same

I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning round me just the same
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything's about me

I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on

To so much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?

Why is everything so heavy?

Why is everything so heavy?

- Linkin Park, Kiiara

Friday, 22 September 2017

After 4 days demam malam
Harini baru rasa nak pergi check kat klinik
Bukan ape
Sebab takut ada denggi je
Kawasan aku duduk sekarang ni dah lah memang hospot untuk denggi huks

Pulak tu haritu batuk berdarah
Haa just in case pergilah check weh

So tadi dia amik sample darah
Sebab nak check kot denggi
Ada dua nurse
Sorang mungkin trainee, sorang lagi memang nurse yang dah lama kot
Kena time aku nak amik sample darah tu dapat la kat nurse trainee tu

First, dia cari vein aku tak jumpa
Pastu second aku tanya "sakit tak?"
Biasanya mesti nurse akan cakap "tak sakit pun, rasa cam gigit semut je."
Nurse ni boleh bantai jawab "Sakit, amik darah kan" senyum senyum
Stress aku
Tapi aku pun gatal pergi tanya
Padan muka aku

Dah la memang takut jarum takut darah semua weh
Pastu aku buat tough je la
Buat-buat berani
Malu lah kan nak tunjuk takut dekat orang kan

Tengah-tengah trainee nurse tu nak amik darah aku
Dengar nurse lagi sorang tu tegur kat nurse trainee tu
"Jangan tolak-tolak, kalau tak boleh masuk angkat sikit"
Seram bhai
Kau cucuk ape doh kat lengan aku 

Dah la dia cucuk dalam sikit huks
Tengah-tengah dia amik darah tu boleh pulak dia tukar orang
sebab nurse trainee tu tak reti
Bapak lahh

Lepas amik darah tu weh aku takleh bangun kot
Nak pitam
Dia ni amik darah or sedut darah

After this and that kena masuk balik bilik dr tadi
Dia kata ok semua
Tapi kalau teruk pergi check lagi sekali

Pastu gi kaunter amik ubat
RM100++ weh
OMG nasib baik ada cash
Dah la akhir bulan ni tak masuk lagi gaji noks

Makin sakit lepas dengar dia charge 
Speechless sat aku

Balik rumah jadi makin tak larat nak compare dengan time pergi tadi
Kalau tahu camni baik aku tunggu baik sendiri je.
Melayang RM 100.
Huks

Thursday, 21 September 2017

He Deserves Better Than You

You left him
for the reason;
He deserves better than you
When you completely know
It was just a lame excuse
The world already know
You had eyed another gold mine before your declaration
Hence, the reason of your shift of heart

You left him with the reason;
He deserves better than you
And then he meets me
I just realized maybe you were right after all

He deserves better than you.
He deserves me

And I am always better than you.



Tuesday, 19 September 2017

Red Sun

Let me be dark
What’s the use of forcing myself to be bright?
Just one candle
That can’t be a light for me
My eyes open and morning is here again
The weather is gray just for me
With my left eye filled with humidity
I hope the dream I look at is clear
I blowing out smoke
I almost shook from that wind
I took a breath and met eyes with you
I keep opening my eyes hard
Don’t make conclusions
My emotions are never something you can buy and sell
The moment a fire lights my candle, my heart
I’ll hypnotize you
I want you to get away from me, Red Sun

Going crazy
Like something’s come over me
Losing my mind
The moment you wake up, you gonna die
Yah, after I count to three, you’ll fall asleep
Red sun red sun red sun

Without even knowing
I’ll make you focus on me
My hypnotizing game
Red hair
Candles turning off
Your mind is fall asleep
Pouring medicine on my microphone
Writing a dramatic song that’ll change prejudice
My existence is against the rules
My goal doesn’t change
My steps have increased twice as much
I’m on the next step
As if this three minute performance is all
I’m hypnotizing myself
Now there’s just one step
Tell me you took it off
The failure from 2 years ago (red sun)
The golden chain (red sun)
The moment I couldn’t put it around my neck
This game had started, now I’m on the stage
Don’t make conclusions
My emotions are never something you can buy and sell
The moment a fire lights my candle, my heart
I’ll hypnotize you
I want you to get away from me, Red Sun

Going crazy
Like something’s come over me
Losing my mind
The moment you wake up, you gonna die
Yah, after I count to three, you’ll fall asleep
Red sun red sun red sun

My life is an endless fight to change my name
Rather than day or night, my psyche has been fouled
Before, I had to scream for people to hear me
But now their ears are on my mouth
Bastards who deny my existence
They’re sweating with no AC but they lie and say they’re ok
You know who I am but you might not
Because you saw me today and were bewitched

Going crazy
Like something’s come over me
Losing my mind
The moment you wake up, you gonna die
Yah, after I count to three, you’ll fall asleep
Red sun red sun red sun

Let me be dark
What’s the use of forcing myself to be bright?
Just one candle
That can’t be a light for me
My eyes open and morning is here again
I’m alone but the weather’s nice
With my left eye filled with humidity
I hope the dream I look at is clear

- Hanzoo, Swings

Monday, 18 September 2017

Life Like Filament

Quietly looking
At the light that brightens my small room
Too many ups and down
When will it go out?

Without you, what would I have become?
When I was poor, what I was in love
I told you, you wouldn’t be able to do this
Be careful of those, especially who are close to you

Twenty years old and failed to get into college
Fired from my hourly job and on the steps of a villa
I prayed
I knew that there was a zero perfect of success in this fight against the world
My nose kept getting more and more twisted
Just give me a drink, this is hip-hop
Like spraying it on top of a grave, like wutang

The small light looks nervous, you and I
It burns up your dreams
Hurry, pour oil on the fire
Then the light will shine more
But different from the moments of passion
How sad would this music have sounded to my mom?

Quietly looking
At the light that brightens my small room
Too many ups and down
When will it go out?

Maybe darkness is better
That might make me freer
Life like filament

Hikikomori alone in my small room
How did I last 10 years?
My answer is, I actually don’t even remember
I just went with the flow
Just cut off your eyes and ears from your family’s worries
When I come back, as if I stopped by the mart
I’ll buy a house

A strike against reality
How do I explain my dream on a powerpoint?
What’s the use of talking about things I don’t even know about
Let’s just have a glass of Moet Chandon
A lot of the loud ones are con men
How come dreams are so loud?
Did you really try your best?
You cowards

You can’t calculate the price of excuses
Someones unhappiness is the opposite of happiness
Even so, people step on it and stand up
All the good days have gone but
We’re going to a better place, put your seatbelt on

Quietly looking
At the light that brightens my small room
Too many ups and down
When will it go out?

Maybe darkness is better
That might make me freer
Life like filament

Now I’m buying jealousy, the most expensive one
Like a rap star or rock star
I kept singing, pathetically
Like Marilyn Monroe when she was a noname
Just keep going, filament
So no one can crush my heart
If you don’t have courage even after you have scars
Don’t come out of your room

But when you come out of the room, the world will have changed
Now so many people care about me
Whether the TV helps or however much money I make
I sleep well, my eyes close, my nieces and nephews greet me
If you like my cheap life story
I’ll give it all, take me

Quietly looking
At the light that brightens my small room
Too many ups and down
When will it go out?

Maybe darkness is better
That might make me freer
Maybe darkness is better
That might make me freer, life
Maybe darkness is better
That might make me freer
Life like filament

- Nucksal, BSK

Thursday, 14 September 2017

Semalam kan tengah tido tiba-tiba terjaga pukul 4 AM
Sebab mimpi ngeri.
Tau mimpi ape?
Mimpi tengah amik test.
Bukak je paper tu, tengok ada 3 section

Section A: Multiple choice questions
Section B: Ni yang ni satgi aku bagitahu sebab ni yang susah
Section C: English essay

Weh yang lain tu soalan senang je except Section B
Nak tahu soalan ape.
Soalan KPOP WTH!

Serius weh tak boleh jawab langsung
*Nangis*

Sampai pagi ni saat aku tengah tulis post ni aku ingat lagi soalan dia
"What is JayPark's height and when was his birthday."

Kisah pulak aku bila birthday dia
Berapa tinggi dia

Sebab soalan tu lah aku tak sempat jawab habis paper tu
Dah la section tu dapat kosong markah
Pastu sempat buat introduction je untuk Section C

Aku pun tak sure kenapalah aku tak terfikir nak siapkan je Section C tu baru pergi tengok Section B
Memang tak dapat jawab lah kan

Tapi ni mimpi OK, Just a dream

Aku rasa sebab aku fikir sangat ni pasal nak kena amik test kat KL Jumaat ni
Dengar kata ada soalan ekonomi
OMG Last aku belajar ekonomi time 2011 ke 2012 kot time diploma
Mana ingat alaaaaa

Test lain macam english dengan IQ tu aku tak risau sangat
Tapi tang soalan Isu semasa, ekonomi dan kalau dia mintak advance math (calculus) masak lah aku
English confident lagi
helpsss

Satu lagi maybe sebab aku penat petang tu sebab tu boleh mimpi bukan-bukan tu
Petang tu lepas habis kerja tak balik rumah terus
Pergi Pusat Komersial Seksyen 7 dulu nak print latest resume dengan dokumen-dokumen lain
Pastu singgah pasar malam, jalan kaki kot ke situ
Lama dah tak jalan macam tu rasa jauh pulak
Dengan bawak beg laptop berat nye

Pastu lepas dah balik dari pasar tu 
Ingat nak tunggu bas dekat tempat tunggu bas yang dekat depan pasar malam tu
Tapi ramai laki kat situ, takut lah kan nak tunggu situ
So I decided nak tunggu dekat Bus Stop kat Masjid Seksyen 7 tu
Weh sumpah aku ingat dekat
Jauh gila rupanya dalam 15-20 minit jalan kaki plus bawak beg laptop lagi, handbag
Menyesal pulak tiba-tiba tengah jalan
dah la penat kerja 

Pastu rupa-rupanya dah dekat pukul 7 masa sampai kat Bus Stop Masjid Seksyen 7 tu
Memang bas biasanya dah tak ada waktu tu
SO aku malas nak tunggu
decide nak jalan sampai balik rumah dekat depan tasik seksyen 7 tu
Nak request Grab tapi takde tenet

Makanya, jalan kaki lah aku petang semalam dari Pusat Komersial Seksyen 7 sampai lah ke Tasik Shah Alam

Amik kau, bangun pagi ni rasa sengal habis kat seluruh badan
Padan muka
gigih lagi 

Tapi kan nasib baik kali ni sepanjang perjalanan tu takde pulak orang tegur
"Awak OK ke ni" - macam masa kat Dungun dulu
When I attempted to walk from UiTM sampai ke rumah sewa yang dekat dengan sekolah menengah tu
Aku rasa time tu mesti orang yang tegur tu ingat aku ada mental breakdown LOL
Yela, tak dibuat orang jalan kaki camtu, bukan takde bas atau van 'kunyit'' waktu tu,
Saje sebenarnya nak buat achievement unlock tapi lepas abang tu tegur baru aku cam sedar, bahaya jugak nak balik camtu sorang-sorang





Sunday, 10 September 2017

To write or not to write
Well that's the question

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