Friday, 22 June 2018

I just knew that
He too
Is insecure
I am not alone

He thinks..
My job is better than his 'past'
My pay is better than his 'past'
My education is better than his 'past'
My face is better than his 'past'
i am better than his 'past'

He got more competition now.
he is aware of that

His 'past' leave him despite being under par
just so-so
just so-so and she already have her nose held high
but now that I am like this
He feels like the chance is higher
To face the same
Or even worse
afraid that i would change
just like his 'past'

"she just so-so but she changed, you are amazing way better than her, will you do the same?"

because he thinks i will be more difficult to keep
i always have a better choice
so he thinks

he forgets that people like me prefer standing on my on two feet
while his 'past 'are chasing after the better and want to be hard-carried
want to live comfortably without really moving a finger

i hope i won't change my mind
i wish
i want to grow together with him
and forever
so he'll be someone amazing
and i will be someone amazing
so we will be someone amazing

Thursday, 14 June 2018

Jangan berbangga dengan kedudukan yang kau ada
sekiranya bukan kerana hasil usaha sendiri sepenuhnya
dan mengharapkan orang lain semata-mata
fikir semula
jika engkau lakukan segalanya sendiri
adakah engkau hari ini sampai ke tahap ini

jadilah rendah diri
dan ingati setiap saat
bagaimana cara kau tiba
di tempat kau berdiri
hari ini

He Deserves Better 2.0

Once
you decided to left him who is loyal to you
you told him "you deserve better than me"
you told him "i am not good for you"
you told him "i am the one who fail this relationship"
you told him "you deserve better than me"

now he's with me

you know what?

you are right after all
he deserve better than you
he deserve me
i am better than you
had always been

he deserve better than you...

Saturday, 9 June 2018

Trust me,
that you are capable to achieve whatever you dream of
Think and execute
You are the one who will sketch your path
No one else
So believe in yourself and keep moving forward

Tuesday, 13 February 2018

I am just lucky to have you as mine.
Just with that, I won't ask for more.
I was never looking for someone perfect.
But you are a perfect match to me dear boy.
Thanks for everything.

Saturday, 30 December 2017

Istikarah?

Istikarah.
Ramai orang salah faham pasal istikarah
Lebih ramai orang yang menggunakan dan menunggang agama semata-mata dan menjadikan istikarah sebagai satu alasan untuk menghalalkan perbuatan mereka yang tak sepatutnya

Ramai orang perlu faham
Bila istikarah masa tu hati dan perasaan neutral
Tak ada bias atau pun perasaan yang memberat ke arah yang dipilih oleh hati dan diri sendiri
Sebab in the end,
Kau cuma mengikut hati dan perasaan 
dan sebenarnya itu dah langsung tak ada kaitan dengan istikarah
waktu tu istikarah cumalah satu alasan ataupun excuse yang dibuat-buat

Tapi masih ramai yang buat macam ni
Dan akhirnya mempergunakan perkataan istikarah tu demi kepentingan sendiri
Berhentilah mempergunakan agama sedemikian rupa

Tidak salah untuk membuat keputusan yang terbaik untuk diri sendiri
Cuma, janganlah gunakan agama dengan cara macam tu

That is not how it should works.

Sunday, 17 December 2017

Gender Equility


So I just come across this stupid statement on twitter
Whoever tweet this are definitely still living in the ancient times.
No doubt about that.

such statement irk the hell out of me.
why do you expect when going out for a date, mesti lelaki nak kena bayar semua.
the way i see it.. 
that is not considered as manner or 'just trying to be a gentleman'
this is 2017
stop looking down on girls please..
let us do it too sometimes

2017, perempuan dah dapat buat most of the thing yang lelaki boleh buat
You want to talk about pride? or maruah?
So you expect only boys should be paying when going on a date because perempuan ni takde pride and maruah?
Is that is how it is?

Please,

In a relationship, ada tolak ansur.
Semua kena divide lah
Ada time laki bayar ada time perempuan yang bayar
Serius aku rasa tak sweet langsung if lelaki kena tanggung semua. EVERYTIME
For me, I'll see the man as someone who looks down of girls because he thinks that girls can't do it
While the girl, if she expects the guy to pay for her every single time. She deserve a golden shovel so it is even easier for her to dig the gold (in a simple way of saying -- Gold Digger)

This is 2017 kot
Gender equality applies
Girls, jangan bebankan lelaki sangat, don't put all the burden on their shoulder, jangan tahu nak kikis duit je sampai nak kawin pun harapkan lelaki je sediakan semua
Guys, kadang-kadang ajar jugak your girls to be independent and tak manja sangat or they'll end up as a sendu, lembik, weak girl in the future...

Just my rant.





Saturday, 28 October 2017

Have you ever in your life
You achieve something big but you think it comes to you way easily
And now you doubt it
You feel like there's something wrong with this
It shouldn't be this easy
It can't be this easy

That's exactly what I feel now

Yeah, I am an ambitious girl
Living in a world full of competitive people

Honestly not to brag
I achieve big things in life without needing to go through some kind of struggle and hardship to achieve something
And now that I think of it
I feel there's something off about that

Like, you know the feeling when you think the situation is not right

I often heard people told me that I worked hard but refuse to acknowledge my own efforts
but me, myself...
I don't think so
I don't think I had worked hard enough to come to the place I am right now
That's why I'm thinking why it is too easy

I often heard people say I am good at something thus making me successfully achieve something
But hearing that just make me feeling embarrassed to myself as I know that I am actually lacking a lot

I know this is called Rezeki
I am really grateful to what I have achieved until this moment
But I know I could do better

***

Few weeks ago
I was offered a job right under the Senior Manager in a big company by the Sr Mgr himself 
(I'm not going to mention the name but it have something to do with Water in KL & Selangor)
Since I am working with this one project right now which is under him
And I am the one who manage this project
The Senior Manager itself offer me to just continue in what I am doing
And be right under him

He was saying that he will resign after this project end
Which will make me rise up to his current position as a Senior Manager as soon as he did that
I really think I don't deserve that just yet
There's still a lot for me to learn

He also told me that there's a possibility that if I take that job people will hate me 
Because I will be the youngest person ever to be in that position
Plus I am a girl no scratch that woman to be exact
Honestly That is not what my concern is

I just know I didn't deserve this offer
There's still a lot of things that I am lacking with
Still a lot I need to learn 

People says I'm letting go such a golden opportunity
But I think it hurts my pride and I am blocking other's opportunity by accepting the job
The job I mentioned takes at least 15 years of experience to be an expert
But I only involves in this project just about a month
I am just a bud
They say they see potential
I know but that place was too high for me
I want to but deep in my heart I just know this is not my time yet

I want to be there
I really do
But I think I need to sharpen my swords first
before blatantly jump into a position that wasn't reserved for me
I wan't to claim that place with pride and dignity
Proudly the moment I know I deserve it
But it is not now I know
Sooner or later I'll be there
And people will acknowledge me as the 'one'
And that is my moment

I always wonder
If the people who got into a position because of  having some "cable" or an insider in a company
when they actually doesn't meet the requirement for the position
I know deep inside their heart the must feel a sense of  guilt and ashamed of themselves
For claiming something that initially wasn't meant for them
I think that is how I feel if I ever accept something I don't deserve
And it will hurt me for a long time... Mentally.


Friday, 29 September 2017

Wednesday, 27 September 2017

Hai awak,
Sebelum nak justify your lie and your pretentious side
Please work out on your English first
OMG

It is bad enough that your were trying to rub that lies into my face
Pretending that you were innocent
(When the world obviously know that you were not)
I thought you are a corporate-level worker,
Now how could you even flunk with that simple English

You don't need to add 's' in a noun when it is singular form
Using article a shouldn't be followed by nouns with -s
Urgh FFS

Honestly, if other people do this I don't care at all
The truth is I never care at all
We all have our learning phases
And me myself aren't even good at it

But because you always rub your nose in my business
That kinda irk the hell out of me.


This Blog is Owned by Izzati Farhah Aziz - Est. 2011©